Bite my shiny metal airs

It’s hard to maintain a blog about all things geek without mentioning 3D all the bloody time. For something that annoys me anyway, it’s even more annoying to write about it all the time, but it’s inescapable, so here is another diatribe on the art of 3D.
Avatar: The Last Airbender is coming in a face near you very soon, and it promises not only air bending in 3D, but fire bending, and water bending, and even gender bending (probably). They’ve now got rid of the Avatar bit of the title because there was another film with that name apparently. I haven’t got a problem with the actual film as such, it’s probably shit, but it’s the marketing that is really getting to me.
The trailer currently on TV doesn’t state anything about the story or plot, but simply tells you that you can see in amazing 3D, not only air bending, but fire and water bending…and that’s it. And if you don’t know what element bending is, which you don’t, then they show you, with a greatly exaggerated example of what looks like a cinema audience being horribly burned.
Now I’m not an idiot (I thunk), and as a result I won’t be enticed into seeing this film just because of the 3D effects, even if they are AMAZING! (I have no idea if they actually are). People are stupid though, and will think “holy fuck, how have I gone through life without seeing air bending in 3 fucking D all this time? I’m there!” No one knows what air bending is though, but perhaps it will become as popular as 3D and you won’t be able to see a film without there being air bending in it. They’ll remake classics, so you can actually be Gone with the Wind, frankly my dear, I don’t give a breeze!
This is all a ploy though to distract you from the fact that M.Night “What a twist” Shyamalan has directed the film. Desperately seeking redemption for a handful of shite films, this could be his last chance to win back the reputation he gained with The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, the latter being the only film of his I have truly enjoyed. I might have enjoyed The Sixth Sense had it not been for what I can only describe as a cunt at school ruining the twist.
With the lack of a recognisable cast with the exception of Dev Patel (what‘s he doing in this anyway?), there aren’t many other reasons to reel in an audience, so the film’s hopes rest purely on it’s 3D prowess, but this isn’t how films should work, they should be about the story, the script, the acting, the directing, not how many different types of benders there are. Special effects don’t make a good film, and for The Last Airbender’s budget, you could make over 5000 Clerks.
If you hate 3D though but love bending, you can see the film in 2D, in fact the trailer states this right at the end, albeit in a very negative tone, as if saying “you can see this in 2D, but we’ll all think you’re a prick”. As the 3D phase is becoming more prominent, films are actually becoming more two dimensional, and it will only get worse. Thankfully Sex and the City 3D will be the end of the fad, but a three dimensional Sarah Jessica Parker will be the end of the world as we know it.