When it comes to comedy we Brits like to think that we’re the best at it. We gave the world Monty Python! Or at least five sixths of it. It’s something of a cliché to comment on the good old British sense of humour, but we are funny people, or so we keep telling ourselves. There’s not much evidence these days of our hilarity, we appear to have stopped being funny.
Turn on your television and it’s just panel shows, we’ve stopped writing comedy and focused purely on commenting on stuff. How many times can we watch six comedians make jokes about a number? Comedians don’t even have to be funny anymore, they just have to look trendy. Put a pair of converse on and gel your hair and you’re a comedian! Jack Whitehall has somehow managed to forge a career in comedy without being funny.
Forget about panel shows and Michael “I’m so funny I can’t stop laughing when I point out stuff that happens” Mcintyre’s comedy road shows and what’s left on our screens? BBC One family sitcoms. Shows that aren’t offensive but also not funny. Even good sitcoms like How Not to Live your Life, Lead Balloon, and Him & Her aren’t hilariously funny. We can’t even claim the IT Crowd as our own because it’s written by an Irishman. Yeah we have Peep Show but we’re not getting a new series until next year. The Scottish have made some great sketch shows this year (Burnistoun and Limmy’s Show) but it’s not enough.
I might never tire of the IT Crowd (we‘re claiming it!) or Peep Show but this drought of British Comedy has prompted me on a perverse expedition across the Atlantic into the treacherous territory of…American comedy! America makes such a large quantity of programmes that it’s like throwing wet tissue at a wall, some of it has to stick.
American comedy can sometimes come across as brash, people will gleefully deconstruct it as mindless shouting and dancing, and while this may be true for some cases, American comedy is in many ways becoming superior to British comedy, and I think we should take the credit. The Office is one of the best comedies we’ve ever produced and has been incredibly influential in turning American comedy funny.
More and more comedies are moving away from canned laughter and live studio audiences and adopting a tone more akin to The Office, focusing on characterisation over a constant stream of one liners. Perhaps the most obvious example is the US version of The Office, and I assume the mere concept of remaking our beloved series has put many Brits off ever watching it. Barring the first episode, the two shows are completely different and comparing the two is redundant.
The US Office might be zanier than we’re used to, it’s inevitable that some people will be incapable of getting it (such are the woes of comedy‘s subjectiveness), but for the ones who do, they will love it. There is a perfect balance between comedy and tragedy for every character in the show, the more tragic the character’s life, the funnier they are. It’s amazing how many characters they’ve crammed into the show, and how detailed their idiosyncrasies are. We don’t usually get to see much character development in British comedies because they usually only last two or three six episode series‘. So far the US Office has made it to 152 episodes, and while there may be some weak episodes now and again, it’s rare that ten minutes will go by without a huge laugh. To put this into perspective, Two Pints of Lager ran for 80 episodes, and how many times did you laugh watching that?
Greg Daniels, the dude who adapted the US version of The Office, went on to create Parks and Recreation, another US comedy worth all of your time. Like The Office, P&R is filmed in the style of a documentary and focuses on an ensemble of idiots, this time based in the parks department of a small town in Indiana. It may be very similar to The Office (I could just copy any paste the previous paragraph) but this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. There are of course differences but if you like The Office, you can pretty much guarantee that you’ll like P&R. Just watch them both.
It’s likely that you haven’t seen these two shows, it’s almost certain that you haven’t seen Community. A quick look on Wikipedia tells me that Community started airing in the UK last October, on Viva. Viva! Isn’t it a music channel? It’s no place for comedy. This is one of the funniest shows I’ve seen in a long time, at least put it on FX, a channel one of us might happen to stumble upon. Community is all about an American community college, a place of education for the more unfortunate people of the world.
So far this has been one of the hardest blog posts to write, I like these shows, what more is there to say? I can’t express my affection in a witty manner, it just comes across as if I’m a teenage girl doting on N Sync (or whatever the kids are listening to these days). All this praise on one page is sickening, it’s hard to express how much I like Community. I love The Office and P&R, but I really love Community. It’s fuckrilliant. It’s so good I’ve made up a word to describe it. It’s intelligent and stupid in equal measures, the characters are flawed yet loveable, it has countless callbacks and makes endless film references. If ever a show was made for me, it would be Community. It’s totally bewildering that it isn’t being shown on a much more popular channel in the UK, Channel 4 likes to think it’s hot stuff when it comes to American comedy, so does Sky One, why haven’t they picked this up? I’ve only discovered it yet it’s been running since 2009.
Maybe it’s time we take a look at American comedies and see what we can take from them. Perhaps we should band together and write as a team rather than individually, have a go at writing more than six episodes, and work on characterisation as opposed to puns. Whatever the solution is, we need to up our game. The Americans are already more powerful than us, we can’t allow them to be funnier than us.
Friday 29 July 2011
Sunday 24 July 2011
Torch My Wood
I’ve always laughed at Torchwood. Probably in the same way “normal” people laugh at Doctor Who. I’ve always ignorantly declared it as shit without ever watching a whole episode. As with Doctor Who, every now and again I would catch a few minutes of Torchwood, and dismiss it as nerdy bollocks. These days my bollocks are considerably nerdy, now a fan of Doctor Who I wilfully turned on the new series of Torchwood. Or maybe I should say season.
The Americans have put a bit of money into Torchwood and in a sense have hijacked our British sci-fi series and made it their own. Bloody yanks, coming over here and taking our shows, increasing the budget and hiring better actors. While a sense of national pride may lament this Americanisation of the series, we have to admit that in general US TV shows are much better than ours.
A spin-off of Doctor Who with a terrible anagram as a title, set in Wales, and starring John Barrowman? This is what has kept me away from Torchwood for so long. How much shit can happen in Cardiff anyway? About three series worth apparently. The Americans probably realised this and subsequently have moved season 4 over to the good ol’ US of A.
This entire series/season is based on one story in which people stop dying. Sounds alright doesn’t it? Well it turns out it’s shit. With the prospect of the world becoming drastically over populated it’s up to Torchwood and some CIA guys to find out what the hell is going on. Obviously the Americans didn’t want the whole series/season set in Wales though. How can you convey this tragedy in Cardiff? A place where it already looks like the living dead roam the streets. Instead Barrowman's Captain Jack is swiftly relocated to his homeland.
As a result we get some good acting. The standard BBC procedure for casting Americans is to just use Brits who can only do awful New Jersey accents, but this time they’ve found some real Americans. Mekhi Phifer and Bill Pullman no less. Pullman was the President in Independence Day, here he’s a convicted paedophile and murderer. It’s all gone wrong for him.
If you’re going to be shaking your fists at anyone in Torchwood it’ll be Pullman. After surviving an execution for his crimes, he is freed on a technicality, and just walks about looking all evil. He’s not the main villain however, we’re only two episodes in but it’s going to be the American government isn’t it? It’s always the American government, and usually the vice president. We shouldn’t really trust Joe Biden should we?
So far Barrowman has had relatively little screen time, the focus being on the global implications of an ever increasing population. Issues such as food shortages, overcrowded hospitals and drug resistant diseases have taken precedence over Barrowman running down a street and twatting someone in the face. Whenever he is on screen I think he’s suddenly going to burst into a number from West Side Story. Then the Welsh bird speaks and the accent ruins the whole tension.
Anthony Hopkins, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Christian Bale, all Welsh actors who don’t have Welsh accents. Would Batman have been as good if he had a Welsh accent? “Ooo this disbanded coal mine would make a good batcave mind. Anyone fancy some cheese on toast?”. A Welsh accent makes everything sound funnier, and as a result it makes Torchwood seem a bit comical at times. The breaches of health and safety in Fireman Sam were no laughing matter, but the accents made them funny. The comedy can be considered as a good thing though, after all there is a convicted paedophile walking about, you need to balance that shit with some comic relief. I’m sure Schindler’s List would have been easier to watch if it was set in the valleys.
The Americans have put a bit of money into Torchwood and in a sense have hijacked our British sci-fi series and made it their own. Bloody yanks, coming over here and taking our shows, increasing the budget and hiring better actors. While a sense of national pride may lament this Americanisation of the series, we have to admit that in general US TV shows are much better than ours.
A spin-off of Doctor Who with a terrible anagram as a title, set in Wales, and starring John Barrowman? This is what has kept me away from Torchwood for so long. How much shit can happen in Cardiff anyway? About three series worth apparently. The Americans probably realised this and subsequently have moved season 4 over to the good ol’ US of A.
This entire series/season is based on one story in which people stop dying. Sounds alright doesn’t it? Well it turns out it’s shit. With the prospect of the world becoming drastically over populated it’s up to Torchwood and some CIA guys to find out what the hell is going on. Obviously the Americans didn’t want the whole series/season set in Wales though. How can you convey this tragedy in Cardiff? A place where it already looks like the living dead roam the streets. Instead Barrowman's Captain Jack is swiftly relocated to his homeland.
As a result we get some good acting. The standard BBC procedure for casting Americans is to just use Brits who can only do awful New Jersey accents, but this time they’ve found some real Americans. Mekhi Phifer and Bill Pullman no less. Pullman was the President in Independence Day, here he’s a convicted paedophile and murderer. It’s all gone wrong for him.
If you’re going to be shaking your fists at anyone in Torchwood it’ll be Pullman. After surviving an execution for his crimes, he is freed on a technicality, and just walks about looking all evil. He’s not the main villain however, we’re only two episodes in but it’s going to be the American government isn’t it? It’s always the American government, and usually the vice president. We shouldn’t really trust Joe Biden should we?
So far Barrowman has had relatively little screen time, the focus being on the global implications of an ever increasing population. Issues such as food shortages, overcrowded hospitals and drug resistant diseases have taken precedence over Barrowman running down a street and twatting someone in the face. Whenever he is on screen I think he’s suddenly going to burst into a number from West Side Story. Then the Welsh bird speaks and the accent ruins the whole tension.
Anthony Hopkins, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Christian Bale, all Welsh actors who don’t have Welsh accents. Would Batman have been as good if he had a Welsh accent? “Ooo this disbanded coal mine would make a good batcave mind. Anyone fancy some cheese on toast?”. A Welsh accent makes everything sound funnier, and as a result it makes Torchwood seem a bit comical at times. The breaches of health and safety in Fireman Sam were no laughing matter, but the accents made them funny. The comedy can be considered as a good thing though, after all there is a convicted paedophile walking about, you need to balance that shit with some comic relief. I’m sure Schindler’s List would have been easier to watch if it was set in the valleys.
Friday 22 July 2011
And I said what about...
I write about films a lot. At least I try to. If you do happen to read this drivel on a regular basis (god help you) then you would have noticed that I write about films I haven’t seen more often than I write about films I actually have seen. The reason for this is that I have a very short attention span.
Watching and dissecting a trailer is far quicker and easier than actually watching the whole film, and sometimes it’s all that’s necessary. I don’t exactly want to go to the cinema and pay to see something like Twilight, especially since I’d probably have to go by myself. Imagine the embarrassment of seeing Twilight on your own. “Oh it’s alright I’m writing a review.” “Who do you write for?” “The rascal with the tweezers in his pocket, you read it?” “No“.
I could just watch them online but there’s only so many torrents and buffering you can tolerate before you realise you’ve been waiting hours to watch Twilight or Green Lantern. And then you have to watch the damn thing, and I’ll get bored, or I’ll like it and then what? Writing a positive post is insanely difficult, there’s thousands of ways to describe shit but if you like something? Yeah it’s good, it’s really good, it’s great, it’s brilliant. It’s boring.
In January I wrote about all the films I wanted to see this year, and thus far I’ve only seen two of those, Paul and Thor. In total, I’ve seen four films at the cinema this year, and I’m typing across the interwebs about films like I’m some authority on the matter. I did go through a whole semester studying media at uni.
If I’m to continue my ignorant ramblings on the world of film then I must start watching things. I’ve never seen Citizen Kane, the Godfather Part II, or Flubber, and it’s about time that I start watching these so called classics. For lack of anything better to write about I will chronicle this treacherous journey of cinematic discovery.
I watched War of the Worlds the other night for the first time, but as it was only made in 2005 and was pretty terrible, I’ll skip it. First on the list (I’ve not got one) is Breakfast at Tiffany’s, which I’m told is a classic. I don’t think it’s really aimed at me. On the back of the DVD Holly Golightly is described as a madcap, carefree New York playgirl. She’s not, she’s a dick, who is probably mentally ill.
It’s essentially just a rom com, if it was filmed today it would probably have Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey in it, fucking things up for everyone. It’s obvious from the opening scene that this is not a film for men. It’s a fashion statement, and it’s purely for the ladies. I’m sure every girl wants to be like Holly, a girl with fancy clothes doing whatever the fuck she wants, I’d be happy with that life.
Holly Golightly might be an inspiration to some women but to me, she’s fucking annoying. She just goes on and on and on, it’s exhausting. She’s a hazard to society and this dude just thinks she’s swell, why? And what’s appealing about him? He’s just as much of a dick and appears to be a rent boy for much of the film. A rent boy!
The film has aged well in terms of style, but not so well in political correctness. Mickey Rooney’s portrayal of a Japanese man is so overtly racist it kind of overshadows everything else in the film. Imagine a Jim Davidson impression, and then imagine something worse.
Excluding this racism Breakfast at Tiffany’s isn’t a bad film, but it’s not as classic or great as some people might have you believe. Maybe I can’t truly appreciate it as I lack fallopian tubes but this is a film made infamous by its style above anything else. I also can’t help but feel that the ending is not a happy one. I bet after the credits she kills the cat and runs off to Brazil.
Watching and dissecting a trailer is far quicker and easier than actually watching the whole film, and sometimes it’s all that’s necessary. I don’t exactly want to go to the cinema and pay to see something like Twilight, especially since I’d probably have to go by myself. Imagine the embarrassment of seeing Twilight on your own. “Oh it’s alright I’m writing a review.” “Who do you write for?” “The rascal with the tweezers in his pocket, you read it?” “No“.
I could just watch them online but there’s only so many torrents and buffering you can tolerate before you realise you’ve been waiting hours to watch Twilight or Green Lantern. And then you have to watch the damn thing, and I’ll get bored, or I’ll like it and then what? Writing a positive post is insanely difficult, there’s thousands of ways to describe shit but if you like something? Yeah it’s good, it’s really good, it’s great, it’s brilliant. It’s boring.
In January I wrote about all the films I wanted to see this year, and thus far I’ve only seen two of those, Paul and Thor. In total, I’ve seen four films at the cinema this year, and I’m typing across the interwebs about films like I’m some authority on the matter. I did go through a whole semester studying media at uni.
If I’m to continue my ignorant ramblings on the world of film then I must start watching things. I’ve never seen Citizen Kane, the Godfather Part II, or Flubber, and it’s about time that I start watching these so called classics. For lack of anything better to write about I will chronicle this treacherous journey of cinematic discovery.
I watched War of the Worlds the other night for the first time, but as it was only made in 2005 and was pretty terrible, I’ll skip it. First on the list (I’ve not got one) is Breakfast at Tiffany’s, which I’m told is a classic. I don’t think it’s really aimed at me. On the back of the DVD Holly Golightly is described as a madcap, carefree New York playgirl. She’s not, she’s a dick, who is probably mentally ill.
It’s essentially just a rom com, if it was filmed today it would probably have Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey in it, fucking things up for everyone. It’s obvious from the opening scene that this is not a film for men. It’s a fashion statement, and it’s purely for the ladies. I’m sure every girl wants to be like Holly, a girl with fancy clothes doing whatever the fuck she wants, I’d be happy with that life.
Holly Golightly might be an inspiration to some women but to me, she’s fucking annoying. She just goes on and on and on, it’s exhausting. She’s a hazard to society and this dude just thinks she’s swell, why? And what’s appealing about him? He’s just as much of a dick and appears to be a rent boy for much of the film. A rent boy!
The film has aged well in terms of style, but not so well in political correctness. Mickey Rooney’s portrayal of a Japanese man is so overtly racist it kind of overshadows everything else in the film. Imagine a Jim Davidson impression, and then imagine something worse.
Excluding this racism Breakfast at Tiffany’s isn’t a bad film, but it’s not as classic or great as some people might have you believe. Maybe I can’t truly appreciate it as I lack fallopian tubes but this is a film made infamous by its style above anything else. I also can’t help but feel that the ending is not a happy one. I bet after the credits she kills the cat and runs off to Brazil.
Saturday 16 July 2011
Why you hate Fred Durst
It’s a Saturday night and you’re watching a film all cosied up on the sofa, you’re having a good time and suddenly in the corner of your eye you see a gigantic spider sprint across the room. HOLY FUCK! You leap out of your seat fearful for your life. After a five minute staring contest with said spider neither of you have moved. You decide to leap into action grabbing the closest thing to you that can be used as a weapon but by the time you are able to pounce the spider is gone. You stay weary of its return but it looks like it’s never coming back. Just as you start to get comfortable with life once more it strikes back!
The same thing has happened with Fred Durst. I thought we were done with him. Him and his stupid fucking red cap on backwards and his “fuck this, fuck that” attitude, a moron of the highest calibre. Barring a rather peculiar appearance in an episode of House, we hadn’t seen much of Fred Durst and his “band” Limp Bizkit, it looked as if they had finally called it a day, but I was horrified to discover that they’re back, and more pointless than ever.
My hatred for Limp Bizkit goes all the way back to school, where everyone seemed to love Limp Bizkit regardless of what clichéd social group they were part of. I didn’t. I didn’t get Limp Bizkit, or any music for that matter. At that time my CD collection consisted of the South Park compilation Chef Aid, and Eminem’s Marshall Mathers LP. Now because my opinion differed from the norm I was deemed “sad and gay” for not liking Limp Bizkit (or any nu metal band). Read that again. I was “sad and gay” because I didn’t like Limp Bizkit. School was a cruel mistress.
Even with my poor musical knowledge back then I was spot on with Limp Bizkit, which makes it all the worse that a few years later I started to listen to them. Yep, I became a dick. I guess my teenage angst was more latent than others my age, and when it became active I suddenly liked Limp Bizkit. Perhaps it was years of being worn down by their exposure or the derision I received from my friends that turned me to Limp Bizkit, but whatever the reason, it’s not an excusable one.
Fast forward a couple of years and I once again harbour a hatred for Limp Bizkit, Fred Durst and the rest of that early 00’s nu metal scene. It feels like it’s too late though, while I have never listened to a Kid Rock or Nickelback song out of choice I have uploaded Limp Bizkit and even Papa Roach to my ipod. That shit doesn’t leave you, it’s on your permanent record. When I’m dead and at the pearly gates Saint Peter is going to judge me for it and send me to hell. I’m sorry God.
We all look back on our pubescent music taste and cringe at the majority of what we used to call music. As a whole, the nu metal scene is comparable to that awful auto-tune R&B phase we’ve just been through. Nu metal was a competition to see who could tune their guitar as low as possible and shout fuck the loudest. Thankfully it was only ever a phase, pogs lasted longer than nu metal.
Its tenure may have been short lived but Fred Durst has provided us with wisdom only Oscar Wilde could ever dream of:
“If I say fuck two more times that’s 46 fucks in this fucked up rhyme”
“Keep rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ rollin‘”
“I hope you know I pack a chainsaw, I’ll skin your ass raw”
“I’d eat you alive…I’m sorry, so sorry, damn you’re so hot”
“Keep rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ rollin’”
Fred Durst is 40 now though, he must have grown up, his red cap must be in the bin, his vocabulary must have improved and he must have some meaningful messages for the world, just like Bono does. We should give him another chance.
So he still looks like a cunt, perhaps even more as he’s wearing a vest. Let’s listen to what he has to say though.
“Holdin’ the gold, it’s so gold, it’s so golden y’all, the golden cobra”
“Douche bag I’m a fuck you up, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you up” (it repeats)
No, he’s even more of a cunt than he used to be. If we can all just tell Fred no he’ll have to stop. Mick Jagger is 67, that means we could have another 27 years of Fred Durst, I can’t live through that, can you? No you can’t, so let’s do the right thing and stop this cunt called Fred Durst.
The same thing has happened with Fred Durst. I thought we were done with him. Him and his stupid fucking red cap on backwards and his “fuck this, fuck that” attitude, a moron of the highest calibre. Barring a rather peculiar appearance in an episode of House, we hadn’t seen much of Fred Durst and his “band” Limp Bizkit, it looked as if they had finally called it a day, but I was horrified to discover that they’re back, and more pointless than ever.
My hatred for Limp Bizkit goes all the way back to school, where everyone seemed to love Limp Bizkit regardless of what clichéd social group they were part of. I didn’t. I didn’t get Limp Bizkit, or any music for that matter. At that time my CD collection consisted of the South Park compilation Chef Aid, and Eminem’s Marshall Mathers LP. Now because my opinion differed from the norm I was deemed “sad and gay” for not liking Limp Bizkit (or any nu metal band). Read that again. I was “sad and gay” because I didn’t like Limp Bizkit. School was a cruel mistress.
Even with my poor musical knowledge back then I was spot on with Limp Bizkit, which makes it all the worse that a few years later I started to listen to them. Yep, I became a dick. I guess my teenage angst was more latent than others my age, and when it became active I suddenly liked Limp Bizkit. Perhaps it was years of being worn down by their exposure or the derision I received from my friends that turned me to Limp Bizkit, but whatever the reason, it’s not an excusable one.
Fast forward a couple of years and I once again harbour a hatred for Limp Bizkit, Fred Durst and the rest of that early 00’s nu metal scene. It feels like it’s too late though, while I have never listened to a Kid Rock or Nickelback song out of choice I have uploaded Limp Bizkit and even Papa Roach to my ipod. That shit doesn’t leave you, it’s on your permanent record. When I’m dead and at the pearly gates Saint Peter is going to judge me for it and send me to hell. I’m sorry God.
We all look back on our pubescent music taste and cringe at the majority of what we used to call music. As a whole, the nu metal scene is comparable to that awful auto-tune R&B phase we’ve just been through. Nu metal was a competition to see who could tune their guitar as low as possible and shout fuck the loudest. Thankfully it was only ever a phase, pogs lasted longer than nu metal.
Its tenure may have been short lived but Fred Durst has provided us with wisdom only Oscar Wilde could ever dream of:
“If I say fuck two more times that’s 46 fucks in this fucked up rhyme”
“Keep rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ rollin‘”
“I hope you know I pack a chainsaw, I’ll skin your ass raw”
“I’d eat you alive…I’m sorry, so sorry, damn you’re so hot”
“Keep rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ rollin’”
 |
| "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck" |
 |
| "Fuck, fuck, fuck. fuck" |
“Holdin’ the gold, it’s so gold, it’s so golden y’all, the golden cobra”
“Douche bag I’m a fuck you up, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you up” (it repeats)
No, he’s even more of a cunt than he used to be. If we can all just tell Fred no he’ll have to stop. Mick Jagger is 67, that means we could have another 27 years of Fred Durst, I can’t live through that, can you? No you can’t, so let’s do the right thing and stop this cunt called Fred Durst.
Thursday 14 July 2011
Frankbash!
Hey look! It’s a new US TV drama featuring the dude from Road Trip, Breckin Meyer! I love that film! Maybe I’ll love Franklin & Bash! That right there is an excerpt from my internal monologue right before I watched the pilot episode of super lawyer drama Franklin & Bash. Because they’re not just any normal lawyers, they’re like Daredevil and shit.
What’s immediately striking and somewhat grating about Franklin & Bash is its relentless quest to be hip and cool. It’s a drama about two lawyers and yeah that sounds boring, really boring. Fortunately Franklin and his buddy Bash aren’t anything like those boring lawyer stereotypes we all know and meh about. Unfortunately they’re more akin to something out of the Josh Schwartz school of coolä, they’re more like Kooky & Brash. One plays the Wii while the other plays a guitar! INSANE! They have a poster of Zombieland on the wall of their office which is also their house! COSMIC! I can accept that they might very well do this, but I can’t accept that they’re cool because of it.
Americans must really love Raj in the Big Bang Theory because Franklin & Bash have their very own awkward Indian man. Are Indians in America different to the ones in the UK? Apparently they’re all nerdy and have some sort of social disability. While Raj can’t speak to women, guess what! This one is agoraphobic! By the end of the pilot episode he overcomes this fear which is a shame because that’s really all the character has got, maybe he’ll regress in the next episode, not that it’s an interesting story arc though.
If our Indian hermit was a maverick hiring from our cool dudes then what about the black female ex-con! Whoah! You might notice her as that annoying one out of the third season of Heroes and immediately find her annoying just as I did. Totally pointless in both shows. Frankbash (my new name for them) are soon hired by Malcom McDowell’s (is he in everything now?) big fancy law firm. Is he crazy? Just a bit!
During this inaugural meeting McDowell simply reads out the pitch of the show including what sounds like a word for word recital of the character descriptions for Frankbash, the clumsiest bit of writing I have ever witnessed. It transpires that Franklin has daddy issues and Bash still loves his ex. Get over her you douche!
Fifteen minutes or so into the episode I realised something, Bash was Mark-Paul Gosselaar…ZACK FUCKING MORRIS! HOLY SHIT! I thought he was dead! When I used to watch Saved by the Bell I didn’t know many people cooler than Zack fucking Morris. Frankbash must be cool then. From this point I forgave the lame exposition and started getting into the show. For all its flaws (and there are many) it is reasonably entertaining and watchable in the same way that Bones is (I suppose).
Meyer and Gosselaar share a good chemistry and without this the show would be a complete mess. Every other character is boring or annoying and most fans of the show will like it for the buddy element and not the court room escapades, which frankly (ha! Pun!) lack any kind of realism. That said, the actors can only bring so much charm to their characters and the writers seem intent on making Frankbash the biggest pair of dickheads you have ever laid your eyes on.
I want to like Frankbash, it’s a bromance and I love bromances, but it’s a bromance between two lawyers, and lawyers as we all know are mostly dicks. In this pilot episode Frankbash not only represent a man who they know is at fault for causing an accident but also make a big deal about how justice should prevail, suggesting that immorality is interchangeable with nobility, which of course it isn’t. You can have two lawyers breaking the rules or two lawyers purveying justice, you can’t have both. Frankbash is flawed but if there’s nothing else on, sure, why not? Let’s watch it, after all it’s got Zack fucking Morris in it.
What’s immediately striking and somewhat grating about Franklin & Bash is its relentless quest to be hip and cool. It’s a drama about two lawyers and yeah that sounds boring, really boring. Fortunately Franklin and his buddy Bash aren’t anything like those boring lawyer stereotypes we all know and meh about. Unfortunately they’re more akin to something out of the Josh Schwartz school of coolä, they’re more like Kooky & Brash. One plays the Wii while the other plays a guitar! INSANE! They have a poster of Zombieland on the wall of their office which is also their house! COSMIC! I can accept that they might very well do this, but I can’t accept that they’re cool because of it.
Americans must really love Raj in the Big Bang Theory because Franklin & Bash have their very own awkward Indian man. Are Indians in America different to the ones in the UK? Apparently they’re all nerdy and have some sort of social disability. While Raj can’t speak to women, guess what! This one is agoraphobic! By the end of the pilot episode he overcomes this fear which is a shame because that’s really all the character has got, maybe he’ll regress in the next episode, not that it’s an interesting story arc though.
If our Indian hermit was a maverick hiring from our cool dudes then what about the black female ex-con! Whoah! You might notice her as that annoying one out of the third season of Heroes and immediately find her annoying just as I did. Totally pointless in both shows. Frankbash (my new name for them) are soon hired by Malcom McDowell’s (is he in everything now?) big fancy law firm. Is he crazy? Just a bit!
During this inaugural meeting McDowell simply reads out the pitch of the show including what sounds like a word for word recital of the character descriptions for Frankbash, the clumsiest bit of writing I have ever witnessed. It transpires that Franklin has daddy issues and Bash still loves his ex. Get over her you douche!
Fifteen minutes or so into the episode I realised something, Bash was Mark-Paul Gosselaar…ZACK FUCKING MORRIS! HOLY SHIT! I thought he was dead! When I used to watch Saved by the Bell I didn’t know many people cooler than Zack fucking Morris. Frankbash must be cool then. From this point I forgave the lame exposition and started getting into the show. For all its flaws (and there are many) it is reasonably entertaining and watchable in the same way that Bones is (I suppose).
 |
| "When I grow up I'm going to be a lawyer!" |
 |
| "When I grow up, I'm going to star in a porn film called Screeched" |
Friday 8 July 2011
Bosses, they're not great are they?
Once upon a time ago, I watched a film called Just my Luck, featuring a pre-mental Lindsey Lohan and the future Captain Kirk. The premise was that a lucky Lindsey loses her luck, and becomes like, so unlucky it’s unreal. What went wrong for her? If you’re so unlucky that it warrants a film, some bad shit must go down right? She got splashed by a puddle. By the end credits, that’s really the only bad thing that happened to her, no untimely death, no date rape, no chlamydia, nothing seriously unlucky, just getting splashed by a puddle.
It’s a light hearted comedy for kids, so of course you can’t just put date rape in the film, but nonetheless Just my Luck made me angry (what doesn’t?), its concept of unluckiness didn’t represent reality, anything actually unlucky would have been too hardcore for the film.
I was reminded of this “film” when watching the trailer for Horrible Bosses. A comedy where three guys decide to murder their bosses, who are like, so horrible and stuff it’s literally unbelievable. In a world where any form of murder is wrong, there can be no valid reason to kill someone, least not in a comedic manner.
Like Just my Luck’s diluted definition of unluckiness, Horrible Bosses’ definition of horrible does not translate to the real world. The film’s poster describes the three titular bosses as psycho, maneater, and tool. If he’s a psycho, just get him sectioned! But he’s not really a psycho, not in a Norman Bates murder you type of way, he’s just manipulative and a bit weird, don’t murder him! Because then you’re the psycho!
Maneater? Why would you want to kill a maneater? Especially when it’s Jennifer Aniston looking hotter than she has in years? Don’t kill her, fuck her! Horrible? She’s anything but horrible. And aren’t all bosses tools? Or dickheads as we’d call them over here. If he’s that much of a tool then just report him, don’t kill him. These aren't horrible bosses, I've worked with far worse, they should call the film Slightly Horrible Bosses, or Bosses, they're not great are they?
Maybe this could work as a dark comedy, but this has the same tone as Couple’s Retreat. Imagine someone getting murdered in The Break-up or Four Christmases, it just doesn’t fit. These films are supposed to have happy endings, how does that happen after the protagonists become crazed murderers? “Oh, work sure is fun now I haven’t got a horrible boss and I’m definitely not linked to the murd…I mean disappearance“. Or maybe they don’t murder them and it all works out in the end.
I’m sure the film is watchable in the way that all Jason Bateman films are, half heartedly. I loved Arrested Development, but Bateman sure does pick some shit to be in. These kinds of films are never terrible, but they’re never better than one watch either, sometimes they’re not even that good. How many more times can we sit through these films? They’re running out of ideas to the point that they’ve made a whimsical comedy about murder. There’s no whimsy in murder! What next? Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson will star in the balls out comedy of the century: The Date Rapists.
It’s a light hearted comedy for kids, so of course you can’t just put date rape in the film, but nonetheless Just my Luck made me angry (what doesn’t?), its concept of unluckiness didn’t represent reality, anything actually unlucky would have been too hardcore for the film.
I was reminded of this “film” when watching the trailer for Horrible Bosses. A comedy where three guys decide to murder their bosses, who are like, so horrible and stuff it’s literally unbelievable. In a world where any form of murder is wrong, there can be no valid reason to kill someone, least not in a comedic manner.
Like Just my Luck’s diluted definition of unluckiness, Horrible Bosses’ definition of horrible does not translate to the real world. The film’s poster describes the three titular bosses as psycho, maneater, and tool. If he’s a psycho, just get him sectioned! But he’s not really a psycho, not in a Norman Bates murder you type of way, he’s just manipulative and a bit weird, don’t murder him! Because then you’re the psycho!
Maneater? Why would you want to kill a maneater? Especially when it’s Jennifer Aniston looking hotter than she has in years? Don’t kill her, fuck her! Horrible? She’s anything but horrible. And aren’t all bosses tools? Or dickheads as we’d call them over here. If he’s that much of a tool then just report him, don’t kill him. These aren't horrible bosses, I've worked with far worse, they should call the film Slightly Horrible Bosses, or Bosses, they're not great are they?
Maybe this could work as a dark comedy, but this has the same tone as Couple’s Retreat. Imagine someone getting murdered in The Break-up or Four Christmases, it just doesn’t fit. These films are supposed to have happy endings, how does that happen after the protagonists become crazed murderers? “Oh, work sure is fun now I haven’t got a horrible boss and I’m definitely not linked to the murd…I mean disappearance“. Or maybe they don’t murder them and it all works out in the end.
I’m sure the film is watchable in the way that all Jason Bateman films are, half heartedly. I loved Arrested Development, but Bateman sure does pick some shit to be in. These kinds of films are never terrible, but they’re never better than one watch either, sometimes they’re not even that good. How many more times can we sit through these films? They’re running out of ideas to the point that they’ve made a whimsical comedy about murder. There’s no whimsy in murder! What next? Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson will star in the balls out comedy of the century: The Date Rapists.
Thursday 7 July 2011
"Carbon fibre up my arse!"
There has been a time in your life when you have put Top Gear on. For me, I’ve put it on regularly for the past 9 or so years. I’ve even enjoyed it, heck! I’ve even been disappointed after finding out the snooker has replaced it. Though over the last year or so, I’ve started to become quite ashamed of liking Top Gear.
What I forget about Top Gear is that it’s a show about cars, and I don’t really like cars, I’m not against them, but I’m not the sort to go “oooo look at those valves, if this car was a chick, I’d fuck it” or “carbon fibre up my arse!”. The format of Top Gear shouldn’t appeal to me or most of its viewers, as a nation we are not all inclined to go on “cruises” or become aroused at the sight of exhausts, but many of us tune in to Top Gear, and why? Because it’s entertaining.
Some of it’s entertaining that is. Not the stuff about cars, that’s pretty boring, but the entertainment comes from the banter of the presenters, Jeremy “no relation” Clarkson, Richard “the hamster” Hammond, and James “?” May and their exploits in the challenges. Yeah, we love the challenges don’t we? They can be genuinely funny at times, such as the road trip across America, but after 9 years they appear to have run out of ideas, and we’re left with juvenile films of three middle aged men destroying caravans or being casually racist.
That’s not ok right? Being racist? Even if it is “casual”? Sure, Top Gear has never made statements such as “kill the Jews” but it did get in trouble for making some comments about Mexicans. They were only joking was the defence, and of course some people get offended really easily, but whether or not the presenters truly believe in their comments, there are viewers who do, who adopt these opinions with a ferocious fervour, and these ignorant pricks should not be encouraged.
What’s perhaps more worrying for some is the ever increasing hints of homophobia of the show. Like racism, homophobia seems like a perfectly normal thing for older generations, and while they may mean no malice, calling another man gay because he does something different from the supposed heterosexual norm is somewhat close minded and archaic. It’s not like Clarkson is shouting “down with gays!”, far from it, but by including homosexuality in their banter, it suggests that they believe it to be inferior to heterosexuality.
Forgetting about the racism and homosexuality, Top Gear is stagnating. Already in its second series of the year, it’s on TV too much (even if you don’t watch Dave) to maintain its creativity. There is such thing as “too much of a good thing” and it looks as if Top Gear is suffering greatly for its over exposure. It needs a rest before it gets any more complaints and we all get sick of it. At the moment it’s like looking into a mirror, and what we’re seeing is a nation of casual racists and homophobes. We all abuse the French and the Welsh from time to time and call our best mates gay, but maybe, just maybe, that’s not a good thing, and Top Gear shouldn’t be encouraging it. "Shut up you gay".
What I forget about Top Gear is that it’s a show about cars, and I don’t really like cars, I’m not against them, but I’m not the sort to go “oooo look at those valves, if this car was a chick, I’d fuck it” or “carbon fibre up my arse!”. The format of Top Gear shouldn’t appeal to me or most of its viewers, as a nation we are not all inclined to go on “cruises” or become aroused at the sight of exhausts, but many of us tune in to Top Gear, and why? Because it’s entertaining.
Some of it’s entertaining that is. Not the stuff about cars, that’s pretty boring, but the entertainment comes from the banter of the presenters, Jeremy “no relation” Clarkson, Richard “the hamster” Hammond, and James “?” May and their exploits in the challenges. Yeah, we love the challenges don’t we? They can be genuinely funny at times, such as the road trip across America, but after 9 years they appear to have run out of ideas, and we’re left with juvenile films of three middle aged men destroying caravans or being casually racist.
That’s not ok right? Being racist? Even if it is “casual”? Sure, Top Gear has never made statements such as “kill the Jews” but it did get in trouble for making some comments about Mexicans. They were only joking was the defence, and of course some people get offended really easily, but whether or not the presenters truly believe in their comments, there are viewers who do, who adopt these opinions with a ferocious fervour, and these ignorant pricks should not be encouraged.
What’s perhaps more worrying for some is the ever increasing hints of homophobia of the show. Like racism, homophobia seems like a perfectly normal thing for older generations, and while they may mean no malice, calling another man gay because he does something different from the supposed heterosexual norm is somewhat close minded and archaic. It’s not like Clarkson is shouting “down with gays!”, far from it, but by including homosexuality in their banter, it suggests that they believe it to be inferior to heterosexuality.
Forgetting about the racism and homosexuality, Top Gear is stagnating. Already in its second series of the year, it’s on TV too much (even if you don’t watch Dave) to maintain its creativity. There is such thing as “too much of a good thing” and it looks as if Top Gear is suffering greatly for its over exposure. It needs a rest before it gets any more complaints and we all get sick of it. At the moment it’s like looking into a mirror, and what we’re seeing is a nation of casual racists and homophobes. We all abuse the French and the Welsh from time to time and call our best mates gay, but maybe, just maybe, that’s not a good thing, and Top Gear shouldn’t be encouraging it. "Shut up you gay".
Saturday 2 July 2011
Camelot! It's only a model
We English love our legends. Robin Hood, Saint George, King Arthur, Jesus, they’re all off the fucking chain. We even treat Sherlock Holmes as if he were a real person. The Americans probably think he is real. It’s no surprise that we have a penchant for legends considering our gruesome history. We can’t celebrate an actual historical figure because most of them were bastards, so we turn to the more mysterious dudes who have morals and ideals we can be proud of, though in reality they were probably pricks as well.
These legends are adapted on screen more often than you and I have meals, you’re actually more likely to be cast as Robin Hood than win the lottery. The latest adaptation (at the time of writing!) is Camelot, a rejigging of the King Arthur legend. In contrast to the usual hench, masculine depiction of Arthur, this one is a young scrawny blonde guy, and the series focuses on his earlier days as king.
Written by the guys who brought us The Tudors, Camelot is very similar, though somewhat more historically accurate. It’s also much more entertaining, free from the shackles of a tangible history, the writers have been able to create something a little less rigid, there was always this feeling of contempt for history with The Tudors, as if it was getting in the way of the drama. This isn’t a problem with Camelot, creative license has gone ape shit and there’s all manner of magic and mysticism happening.
Much like The Tudors there are some fairly big names in Camelot, and like their Tudor counterparts they too partake in gratuitous sex, nudity and homoeroticism, but doesn’t every swashbuckling television series these days? Some might say that no sex is gratuitous, but when it’s extras in a crowded court you have to seriously question the relevance of it. Maybe some viewers doubted that sex existed in those times and it serves as a handy reminder? Don’t get me wrong, sex and tits are great, but they have a time and a place.
The same goes for crude language, it can at times make for a punchy dialogue, but this isn’t Clerks, it’s King Arthur, and if you want to be picky, cunt wasn’t even a word back then. Admittedly James Purefoy’s “ah fuck this” made me laugh, but it also reflects the producer’s opinions as they’ve already pulled the plug on the series, which seems a little harsh considering The Tudors made it to 4 seasons, even with Joss Stone in it!
I haven’t watched all of it yet and there’s still time for Joss Stone to make an appearance, maybe it deserved to get cancelled. I may never know as I’m questioning whether it’s even worth watching the rest of the first and only season, or if I should just give up and watch Game of Thrones instead. That surely won’t have any gratuitous sex in it.
These legends are adapted on screen more often than you and I have meals, you’re actually more likely to be cast as Robin Hood than win the lottery. The latest adaptation (at the time of writing!) is Camelot, a rejigging of the King Arthur legend. In contrast to the usual hench, masculine depiction of Arthur, this one is a young scrawny blonde guy, and the series focuses on his earlier days as king.
Written by the guys who brought us The Tudors, Camelot is very similar, though somewhat more historically accurate. It’s also much more entertaining, free from the shackles of a tangible history, the writers have been able to create something a little less rigid, there was always this feeling of contempt for history with The Tudors, as if it was getting in the way of the drama. This isn’t a problem with Camelot, creative license has gone ape shit and there’s all manner of magic and mysticism happening.
Much like The Tudors there are some fairly big names in Camelot, and like their Tudor counterparts they too partake in gratuitous sex, nudity and homoeroticism, but doesn’t every swashbuckling television series these days? Some might say that no sex is gratuitous, but when it’s extras in a crowded court you have to seriously question the relevance of it. Maybe some viewers doubted that sex existed in those times and it serves as a handy reminder? Don’t get me wrong, sex and tits are great, but they have a time and a place.
The same goes for crude language, it can at times make for a punchy dialogue, but this isn’t Clerks, it’s King Arthur, and if you want to be picky, cunt wasn’t even a word back then. Admittedly James Purefoy’s “ah fuck this” made me laugh, but it also reflects the producer’s opinions as they’ve already pulled the plug on the series, which seems a little harsh considering The Tudors made it to 4 seasons, even with Joss Stone in it!
I haven’t watched all of it yet and there’s still time for Joss Stone to make an appearance, maybe it deserved to get cancelled. I may never know as I’m questioning whether it’s even worth watching the rest of the first and only season, or if I should just give up and watch Game of Thrones instead. That surely won’t have any gratuitous sex in it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)