“Windows 8, you’re a dick if you don’t buy it”

I’m a PC. I’m a Mac. Windows 7 was my idea. The iPhone 4 changes everything, again. Yes, I have a problem with how Microsoft and Apple market their products. I was fine with it but I’ve come to realise that these annoying Windows 7 adverts aren’t going away. The first annoyingly smug bastard actor telling me that Windows 7 was his idea grinded my gears, and the latest one with the even more annoyingly smug bitch actor telling me in a way that couldn’t be more smug that Windows 7 was her fucking idea has annoyed me to the point of sitting at my laptop (using Windows 7) to write about how annoyed I am at it.
I have Windows 7. I have not used any of the “genius” ideas mentioned in all of the adverts, I haven’t even seen an opportunity where I can do something new. The whole point of this ad campaign and many like it are to say to the world how easy computers are to use, but these features haven’t changed how I use a computer one bit other than I have a nice looking green taskbar.
As if we don’t know how to use a computer anyway, it’s all a bit patronising, and adding irrelevant features nobody uses won’t help at all, nor will annoying adverts. The Windows 8 ad campaign will have the slogan “Windows 8, you’re a dick if you don’t buy it” which is pretty much Apple’s slogan for the iPhone.

"Fracking Machines"

True the iPhone did change the world of phones, but the slogan for the iPhone 4: “Changes everything again” is just calling all of us cunts, yes cunts, big hairy cunts. The iPhone 4 is just a newer iPhone, just like the iPad was a bigger iPhone that wasn’t actually a phone, it hasn’t changed anything. The big new feature for the iPhone 4 was its new sleek metal design, which actually stopped the phone from working well. Apple’s response was that if you buy a phone cover (from Apple of course) the problem would stop. Yes, the whole point of the metal rim was because it looked good and now you have to cover it up for the phone to work. Apple call us cunts, again.
They know we’re going to buy their shit anyway, we want it, it’s all new and shiny and does stuff, so why put us through this painful marketing? Maybe they think it works but if you show us an iPhone in dog shit we would still want it, it doesn’t mean you have to. Nor do you have to make Mitchell and Webb sell out and sell your product. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs already own our souls, they could at least make us feel good about it.