Have you tried turning it off and on again?

It’s been a quiet month. Well, I haven’t had anything to write about all month, and I don’t have the credentials to write about politics or current affairs so it has been a pretty boring September. Of course I could have picked up the new Halo game and written about that, but I’ve been frugal and besides I bet I would sum it up as “not as good as the fanboys say it is”. There’s always the X-Factor show thing but it’s been the exact same thing since its inception only with slightly different faces.

"Bodacious"

I did read today though a rumour that Keanu Reeves would be interested in a third Bill & Ted movie, finally a tiny vague subject matter I can write about. Before I get excited or even horrified at the thought of another movie, this probably will never happen. Bill & Ted were two teenage “slackers”, and Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter are now in their mid-forties and it would take a genius to make this film work.
While this is only a rumour it would be no surprise if this went into production because we are currently in an age of reboots and remakes and anything can happen. We’ve already seen a new Karate Kid, Freddy Krueger, Perseus and Predator(s) this year, and despite none of these really being that successful, it seems there are hundreds of reboots in production trying to capture the same success as Nolan’s Batman or Abrams’ Star Trek.
The problem with reboots is that they aren’t particularly necessary. There is no point in remaking an already great film (or even a good one) because it won’t be better than the original. Every year or so I hear a rumour about a Back to the Future remake, the last one I heard was that Justin Bieber would play Marty McFly. We probably never have to worry about such a tragedy because I like to believe that not even Justin Bieber would think it’s a good idea.
It seems that reboots are for those films that had potential, but were never actually that good. We've seen this year though that the reboots are still not actually that good. Clash of the Fucking Titans! If you were judging a film by its title that would win hands down. If you have a name like that you have to make sure that you have Titans clashing in your movie. Sure Liam Neeson was very shiny, but was it an improvement on the original? Still, they’re making a sequel.

Because of this, I don’t like the idea of making an average film into a better one because it seems like it can’t be done. The only reboots that have worked have been for existing franchises that were already good, where there were still more stories to be told, the characters still had room to develop, and new technology had created the potential to show something the original films couldn’t. Who did this perfectly? That pesky J.J. Abrams that’s who. The latest Star Trek film should be the template for all other reboots (not that a template should be used). Star Trek’s greatest achievement was to get people who thought Star Trek was shit (like me) to actually like it, a colossal feat.
The majority of announced reboots are unsurprisingly comic book movies and it appears that this will never end. When The Avengers movie finally comes out, which has been hyped so much it’s surely the comic book movie to end all comic book movies, what happens? They just reboot every attached franchise and we have to start all over again, but with less chance of something original being made.
If you take a look at the upcoming or rumoured reboots/remakes you will probably grimace your face off. Conan, Red Sonja, Highlander, Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, Police Academy, Buffy (The Movie (!?!?!?)), Tomb Raider, the list goes on. It’s like taking all those films you watched as a child, a lot of them you didn’t like, and then making you watch them again, no wait, it’s exactly that. Why can’t we just watch the good ones?
It’s not all bad because Ghostbusters 3 might eventually be made, and it might, it just might, not be shit…but probably will be. Karl Urban has been announced as the new Judge Dredd, and Alex Garland will be writing the script so that might, just might not be shit…but probably will be. James Franco will be in the new Planet of the Apes film, which might not be shit but probably will be. That’s the best we can hope for with reboots, for them not to be shit. If a Bill and Ted reboot is announced, I will be praying it’s not shit.