Everyone loves a buddy cop film, Lethal Weapon, Bad Boys, Rush Hour, hell, even Cop and a half. Let’s make more of them, I’m fine with that. What? Change the formula? What these films are missing is a good romance storyline? Let’s change one of the cops into a lady! Guys will love the action, and the chicks will love the romance! Ooo he’s so dreamy, he can handle a weapon but he’s so sensitive. WRONG WRONG FUCKING WRONG!
There has been a horrific trend in these movies, I have become aware of three of these in the past year, yes three! Now, these are not strictly buddy cop movies as there are no cops in them, but it looks like they are trying to go for the same sort of thing. We have already been graced with The Bounty Hunter, where new Mel Gibson (the go to sleazster) Gerard Butler abuses Jennifer Aniston until they inevitably fall in love and live happily ever after even though they hated each other only 20 minutes ago, at least I presume that’s what happens, I have only seen the trailer (The Italian version makes Gerard Butler approximately 1000 times sleazier). So with this setting the mark, Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz are going to have a crack with Knight and Day. I thought the trailer was one of those joke trailers, like the Orange ones, you know, it’s so bad it’s funny, but that Kevin Spacey looking dude never came in at the end with a mobile phone, and I realised it was a real film. Shit!
Someone shouldn’t have told Tom Cruise that his cameo in Tropic Thunder was funny, it’s gone to his head, and it wasn’t even that funny. All I heard was how funny his dance was at the end of the film, and you know what, it has nothing on Napoleon Dynamite, or even Sean William Scott in American Wedding 3 band camp boob fest pie. It’s all gone to poor little Tom’s head, and now I guess he wants to do more comedy, starting with this movie, and people will see it, love it, they will do a sequel, which will further fuel his ego until he does nothing but comedy, sort of what De Niro does now, but shit. As for Cameron Diaz, I cannot sympathise with any character she plays because she looks like a drunken whore.
Finally we have Killers. The trailer would have you believe it is just another boring rom com where the poor single lady who can’t find a man suddenly finds a man, but it turns out he has a secret, and they can’t be together, but in the end they get married anyway. I genuinely thought they were going to reveal they were brother and sister, turns out it was worse, he’s a spy! This looks like a carbon copy of Knight and Day which makes me want to punch myself in the face twice as hard because it turns out no one noticed the first time I did it. I’m sure Ashton Kutcher is OK in it, but as a rule of thumb, anyone from Grey’s Anatomy makes me want to cut myself, kind of like a Marilyn Manson album, only I can’t turn it off, I’ve never even seen Grey’s Anatomy, it just looks so damn annoying, look at all of them with their faces, they make me sick.
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