I’m shite at sports, it’s a personal tragedy and one that I’ll never overcome, I’ve not played every sport (just how do you get into pole vaulting) but I’m pretty sure I’ll be terrible at all of them. I might never get to sleep with a team-mate’s wife or swear into a camera and I’ve made peace with that, because I can do it all on an Xbox.
In reality I don’t care much for sports but boy do I love them in video game form. It doesn’t even matter which sport it is, I used to play the likes of Fifa 96, Troy Aikman NFL Football, NBA Jam and NHL 96 for hours as a kid, and while my interest in sports has waned somewhat, I’m still playing their virtual incarnations like a zombie.
As opposed to most other games, there’s always a new version every single year, promising to be better than the last. The squads will be updated, as will the shiny new kits, there might be NEW ANIMATIONS! And that’s all you really get, and for most Fifa fans, that’s all they want, change is bad. Wayne Rooney has graced the cover since 2007 and the only difference is that he’s got progressively uglier.
EA Sports love to throw a gimmick at the rest of us, if David Beckham’s new haircut didn’t persuade us to buy the new game then 360 dribbling will! Or 360 passing! Next year it will 360 heading, like the shitting Exorcist, NEW PROJECTILE VOMITING! When you do eventually buy the latest version you’re left disappointed that they’ve removed all the things you liked about last year’s game.
I like to think I’m better than this, I won’t be fooled by the promise of a brand new game every year, only to hold a near identical copy of the game I only bought 12 months ago, so what I do, I buy them every 48 months, in which I hold a near identical copy of the game I only bought 48 months ago.
Having bought Tiger Woods PGA Tour 09 on the *gulp* Nintendo Wii, it was time to buy the latest version, and this time on a console where I didn’t have to swing my arms like a mentalist. Because Tiger Woods “did all that sex” a few years ago, EA Sports have chosen not to have his face on the cover, instead choosing to have The Masters emblazoned all over it, with the tiny words Tiger Woods PGA Tour 12 underneath.
Unsurprisingly, this year’s version is all up in the air over The Masters, which for people uninterested in golf (me included) is a golf tournament, and as I have gathered, quite a fancy one. It’s extremely refreshing to have a different menu screen to the one EA Sports has stuck with for all of its games for the past five years.
I like golf games because they’re hypnotically addictive, which is strange because I’m just doing the same thing over and over. I’m definitely not going to have to gun down a terrorist or jump in a helicopter, I’m not even going to get in a golf cart, I’m just going to hit a ball down a field. It shouldn’t be fun, shooting Nazi’s in the face is fun, murdering in renaissance Italy is fun, golf? Fun? Why yes it is.
Sinking a long putt to get an eagle is incredibly satisfying, and for a guy who craves a false sense of achievement, it will be dangerous when I finally get a hole in one, “you coming to work today?”, “Fuck your job, I got a hole in one!”. Tiger Woods will (probably) appeal to any gamers who are “completionists“ because there’s a lot to do. Pretty much everything is unlocked through challenges, you complete a challenge and you have another more difficult one to complete, which is a much more entertaining way of getting Xbox achievements than collecting feathers.
Despite all the fun and japes, there is something substantially annoying about Tiger Woods 12, and it’s not the lack of sex. There are a total of 34 courses, though you only get 16 of these when you buy the game, the rest being available to purchase online. This might be acceptable if it didn’t interfere with the game, but you are constantly reminded that there are events you cannot play until you buy the courses. It might be acceptable if the courses were reasonably priced, but they’re not. It might be acceptable if these courses were produced after the release, but they weren’t. They could have been in the game, but EA Cunts have cynically decided to make us pay for part of a game we have already paid for.
This is nothing new, but it’s a trend that is becoming more and more common as publishers know they can withhold content from a game, sell it separately, and millions of morons will buy it. The publishers are dicks for doing for it, but the people out there enabling them are the real cunts. Tiger Woods 12 may be fun but it’s an insight into the terrible dystopia of video games that has yet to come.
Showing posts with label Xbox 360. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Xbox 360. Show all posts
Saturday, 16 April 2011
Thursday, 17 February 2011
Dead Island
If you look at trending topics on twitter at any given moment you will be forgiven for stabbing yourself in the eye. A list of the most popular topics on twitter is actually an unholy inventory of rage inducing shittery that will make you question the very core of humanity and everything around it. Because what’s “hot” on twitter are fuckwitted inane phrases featuring the likes of Justin Bieber, the Jonas brothers and Lady Gaga. Basically if you’re on MTV 24/7 you’re on twitter 24/7. Twitter can be educational, a much quicker gateway to news and culture than any other means but millions of people aren’t interested in this, no, they just want to proclaim their love or hatred of popular Disney tweens. If you look further into these trending topics you see that most people aren’t actually talking about the topic at all, it’s a long list of morons tweeting “OMG why is Rasputin trending?” or just listing every topic so people will read their tweets and maybe just very maybe will end up following them.
To cut an infinite tangent short, there is one particular thing that is currently trending called Dead Island. I would be right to assume that it’s just another stupid topic, that Justin Bieber has been found dead washed up on an island, or Lady Gaga’s new outfit is of a dead island, but no, this is one of those rare occasions in which twitter has trended something that is worthy of your attention, the problem is that you won’t know that, you’ll assume it isn‘t.
Totally ignoring the trending, and even a few tweets from trusted sources, I eventually stumbled across the trailer for Dead Island this morning (not the show). Dead Island is a forthcoming PS3/Xbox 360 game about an island of zombies, and the trailer at least, is fudging brilliant. It’s pretty rare that a game will appear out of nowhere and get everyone excited, we usually know about them sometimes years before they are released, but like a sex offender lunging at you out of a bush, Dead Island has caught everyone by surprise.
A lot of recent games have been trying to look like movies, fancy cut scenes, big scores, bigger explosions and instead of adverts, they have classy trailers. It’s a concept that works, look at the sales of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and that looked like several movies! As the game industry is becoming ever more popular, marketing is becoming the most vital aspect of it. The popularity of the Nintendo Wii and DS is not because of the excellence of the games, it’s because of Ant and Dec, Helen Mirren and Sir Patrick fucking Stewart.
Dead Island will further change how games are marketed, it might turn out to be dreadful but publishers will have already arranged meetings to turn out a trailer that makes their game look like the dog’s bollocks and the bee’s knees. We might be given lots of pretty looking videos, but film trailers almost always fool us into thinking a film is better than it actually is. Iron Man 2 and Predators both included footage in their trailers that didn’t feature in the final film and who’s to say game trailers won’t do this? They already do.
Hardcore gamers will be dripping in their pants having seen the Dead Island trailer but if history tells us anything we should prepare for disappointment. If there’s two things I love it’s zombies and islands but we don’t know much about the game as of yet and it may prove to be Dead Rising on an island, which no one wants. Of course what we want is a great game and if the trailer could be considered as an indicator of its quality (which it can’t) then we could have something very special.
There are lots of if’s and but’s and by the time Dead Island is released we might have forgotten all about it. In true cynical fashion I am braced for an anti-climax and a barrage of over the top artsy trailers. All that matters for the publishers is that games look good, and like zombies we buy every single one.
To cut an infinite tangent short, there is one particular thing that is currently trending called Dead Island. I would be right to assume that it’s just another stupid topic, that Justin Bieber has been found dead washed up on an island, or Lady Gaga’s new outfit is of a dead island, but no, this is one of those rare occasions in which twitter has trended something that is worthy of your attention, the problem is that you won’t know that, you’ll assume it isn‘t.
Totally ignoring the trending, and even a few tweets from trusted sources, I eventually stumbled across the trailer for Dead Island this morning (not the show). Dead Island is a forthcoming PS3/Xbox 360 game about an island of zombies, and the trailer at least, is fudging brilliant. It’s pretty rare that a game will appear out of nowhere and get everyone excited, we usually know about them sometimes years before they are released, but like a sex offender lunging at you out of a bush, Dead Island has caught everyone by surprise.
A lot of recent games have been trying to look like movies, fancy cut scenes, big scores, bigger explosions and instead of adverts, they have classy trailers. It’s a concept that works, look at the sales of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and that looked like several movies! As the game industry is becoming ever more popular, marketing is becoming the most vital aspect of it. The popularity of the Nintendo Wii and DS is not because of the excellence of the games, it’s because of Ant and Dec, Helen Mirren and Sir Patrick fucking Stewart.
Dead Island will further change how games are marketed, it might turn out to be dreadful but publishers will have already arranged meetings to turn out a trailer that makes their game look like the dog’s bollocks and the bee’s knees. We might be given lots of pretty looking videos, but film trailers almost always fool us into thinking a film is better than it actually is. Iron Man 2 and Predators both included footage in their trailers that didn’t feature in the final film and who’s to say game trailers won’t do this? They already do.
Hardcore gamers will be dripping in their pants having seen the Dead Island trailer but if history tells us anything we should prepare for disappointment. If there’s two things I love it’s zombies and islands but we don’t know much about the game as of yet and it may prove to be Dead Rising on an island, which no one wants. Of course what we want is a great game and if the trailer could be considered as an indicator of its quality (which it can’t) then we could have something very special.
There are lots of if’s and but’s and by the time Dead Island is released we might have forgotten all about it. In true cynical fashion I am braced for an anti-climax and a barrage of over the top artsy trailers. All that matters for the publishers is that games look good, and like zombies we buy every single one.
Saturday, 4 December 2010
Holding out for a Hero
It’s been a strange year in the world of those little computer video games, you know, those things the kids play which make them shoot up schools. It could be a sign that I’m growing up but not much has really blown me away this year, the one game I was looking forward to was Fable III and it was totally akin to my excitement of Spider-Man 3 and then seeing it.
It came out over a month ago but the feeling in my toes has only just come back and I am now able to write about Fable III. Like Spider-Man 3 it’s not all bad but you can’t help but feel it could have been much much better. The Fable franchise is somewhat infamous or at least famous for its flaws. The purpose of a sequel is to improve on its predecessor, Fable II did that while having its own long list of flaws but sadly Fable III took one of these flaws and improved it a bit and forgot about the rest of them.
I shouldn’t have been so naïve to believe in Peter Molyneux’s hyperbolic ramblings about the game’s improvements, the time he spent on talking about the game surely could have been spent on making it better but still I was watching the interviews on IGN and Xbox Live genuinely excited that we might finally have a perfect Fable game. All that was needed was to iron the creases out of Fable II, put in a few new features and a good story and we’d have what we all wanted.
We were promised that the pretty terrible pause menu would be fixed with a super awesome interactive one and while we have it exactly as they described it would be, you don’t really need to use it that often, you won’t change your clothes because there aren’t that many and you won’t notice any difference in the weapons you use, nor will you appreciate John Cleese telling you that there are new items in the Sanctuary shop every two minutes.
The most irritating thing about Fable III though is the lag, why is there lag when I‘m not even playing online? It’s like I’m playing a game on an outdated PC. Combine this with the useless “breadcrumb trail” and you will spend most of your time getting frustrated as you’re left jerking around the screen not knowing where to go. Red Dead Redemption was so enjoyable because you could just explore, in Fable you only get little segments of the world and it doesn’t let you appreciate the world they have created. You can see a massive city in the horizon but when you get there it’s noting more than a few streets, and somehow it feels smaller than the last game with quite a few locations omitted, perhaps to sell to us in DLC?
What was disappointing about Fable II was the lack of stuff to do and there is even less to do in Fable III. They’ve even taken out some of the good stuff like the pub games and replaced it with…nothing. They’ve created this expansive world and not only do we not get to see all of it we don’t get to live in it either. Making friends and raising a family is so inconsequential there’s hardly any point in doing it and the new feature of having to complete a quest to do so makes it a tedious waste of time. The jobs are now incredibly easy yet mind numbingly repetitive, if I wanted that I’d just go to work but even that would be more fun than pressing 3 buttons again and again.
I said the most irritating thing was the lag but thinking about it the story ruins the game. The plot sees you on a quest to overthrow your evil brother and take over the throne which immediately contradicts a massive mechanic of the game. You can choose to be good or evil yet when the plot negates that you are good it seems silly that you can go around killing the citizens you are trying to save. Furthermore when you do overthrow your brother it turns out that his means were justified and you can choose to do everything he did and if you don’t you end up being just as hated as he was living in a world full of corpses once you finish the game leaving you unable to complete the side quests.
The game seems too linear especially in the second half and it suffers from shifting the villain from your brother to a dark entity which is absent for much of the game. You are told this entity known as Steve (I can’t remember its name) will attack your land in one year yet all you do is decide on things like choosing to restore an orphanage or turn it into a brothel and this takes any tension out of the game and when Steve does attack it is incredibly disappointing ending all too easily and on such a small fanfare. End boss battles are supposed to be OFF THE FUCKING CHAIN, this didn’t even tug it.
It is still an enjoyable game but continuing the Spider-Man 3 metaphor, it’s the bad that sticks with you. The developers have aimed to make the game more accessible yet the first two were hardly the most complicated of games and what we’re left with is a diluted version of Fable II which lags. As the video game market expands it has to cater for a wider audience meaning any concept the casual gamer doesn’t understand is removed which is pissing in the mouths of the not so casual gamer, why should we have to suffer because some prick doesn’t know how to level up properly or understand a complex (or even simple) plot?
I’m getting bored of games and this was supposed to be the game to restore my faith in them, instead I’ve been reading books! READING! What’s happened to me? If Fable IV is going to work then they have to start from scratch, go back to the beginning of the mythology they've created and make a game about being a hero, keep the style and humour, write a simple story with a decent ending and perhaps most importantly, make sure it doesn't lag.
It came out over a month ago but the feeling in my toes has only just come back and I am now able to write about Fable III. Like Spider-Man 3 it’s not all bad but you can’t help but feel it could have been much much better. The Fable franchise is somewhat infamous or at least famous for its flaws. The purpose of a sequel is to improve on its predecessor, Fable II did that while having its own long list of flaws but sadly Fable III took one of these flaws and improved it a bit and forgot about the rest of them.
I shouldn’t have been so naïve to believe in Peter Molyneux’s hyperbolic ramblings about the game’s improvements, the time he spent on talking about the game surely could have been spent on making it better but still I was watching the interviews on IGN and Xbox Live genuinely excited that we might finally have a perfect Fable game. All that was needed was to iron the creases out of Fable II, put in a few new features and a good story and we’d have what we all wanted.
We were promised that the pretty terrible pause menu would be fixed with a super awesome interactive one and while we have it exactly as they described it would be, you don’t really need to use it that often, you won’t change your clothes because there aren’t that many and you won’t notice any difference in the weapons you use, nor will you appreciate John Cleese telling you that there are new items in the Sanctuary shop every two minutes.
The most irritating thing about Fable III though is the lag, why is there lag when I‘m not even playing online? It’s like I’m playing a game on an outdated PC. Combine this with the useless “breadcrumb trail” and you will spend most of your time getting frustrated as you’re left jerking around the screen not knowing where to go. Red Dead Redemption was so enjoyable because you could just explore, in Fable you only get little segments of the world and it doesn’t let you appreciate the world they have created. You can see a massive city in the horizon but when you get there it’s noting more than a few streets, and somehow it feels smaller than the last game with quite a few locations omitted, perhaps to sell to us in DLC?
What was disappointing about Fable II was the lack of stuff to do and there is even less to do in Fable III. They’ve even taken out some of the good stuff like the pub games and replaced it with…nothing. They’ve created this expansive world and not only do we not get to see all of it we don’t get to live in it either. Making friends and raising a family is so inconsequential there’s hardly any point in doing it and the new feature of having to complete a quest to do so makes it a tedious waste of time. The jobs are now incredibly easy yet mind numbingly repetitive, if I wanted that I’d just go to work but even that would be more fun than pressing 3 buttons again and again.
I said the most irritating thing was the lag but thinking about it the story ruins the game. The plot sees you on a quest to overthrow your evil brother and take over the throne which immediately contradicts a massive mechanic of the game. You can choose to be good or evil yet when the plot negates that you are good it seems silly that you can go around killing the citizens you are trying to save. Furthermore when you do overthrow your brother it turns out that his means were justified and you can choose to do everything he did and if you don’t you end up being just as hated as he was living in a world full of corpses once you finish the game leaving you unable to complete the side quests.
The game seems too linear especially in the second half and it suffers from shifting the villain from your brother to a dark entity which is absent for much of the game. You are told this entity known as Steve (I can’t remember its name) will attack your land in one year yet all you do is decide on things like choosing to restore an orphanage or turn it into a brothel and this takes any tension out of the game and when Steve does attack it is incredibly disappointing ending all too easily and on such a small fanfare. End boss battles are supposed to be OFF THE FUCKING CHAIN, this didn’t even tug it.
It is still an enjoyable game but continuing the Spider-Man 3 metaphor, it’s the bad that sticks with you. The developers have aimed to make the game more accessible yet the first two were hardly the most complicated of games and what we’re left with is a diluted version of Fable II which lags. As the video game market expands it has to cater for a wider audience meaning any concept the casual gamer doesn’t understand is removed which is pissing in the mouths of the not so casual gamer, why should we have to suffer because some prick doesn’t know how to level up properly or understand a complex (or even simple) plot?
I’m getting bored of games and this was supposed to be the game to restore my faith in them, instead I’ve been reading books! READING! What’s happened to me? If Fable IV is going to work then they have to start from scratch, go back to the beginning of the mythology they've created and make a game about being a hero, keep the style and humour, write a simple story with a decent ending and perhaps most importantly, make sure it doesn't lag.
Sunday, 14 November 2010
COD and Chips
It’s that time of the year again and like clockwork another Call of Duty game has come in every man’s face. The average man doesn’t have much in life, he has football, beer, and tits, and now COD. We laugh at how women like shoes, gossip, and Brad Pitt, and ponder how anyone can be comfortable adhering to such stereotypes. We think this as we down our pint, call Gary Neville a wanker and stare at that women’s tits. Then we turn on our 360/PS3 and play COD until it’s time to go to work or that prick from Sheffield snipes us so many times we get angry and turn the damn thing off vowing never to play the stupid fucking game again only to turn it back on within the hour the cycle viciously repeating until we become mindless zombies.
The Call of Duty franchise is not just for gamers anymore, it’s become synonymous with Man and is much bigger than a mere computer video game those darn pesky kids are playing. Call of Duty attracts the most casual of gamers who usually reserve their playing time for FIFA (and nothing else) and perhaps it’s the game’s macho subject matter of shooting faces that transcends COD from being geeky and stupid to the most important facet of life. Nothing says “I’m the alpha male” more than “poning a noob”. The supposed realism is what makes COD so engrossing to the masses, where as Halo with its lasers and aliens requires too much suspension of disbelief and is subsequently left for those dreaded malevolent hardcore gamers.
Everyone wants to prove they’re the best and if they can’t do it on the football pitch then they will do it online, annoying the geeks who thought they found their calling in life to no end. For some of the physically inferior, games are all they have, they’re good at them and in their virtual world they are the Mac daddy. The universal appeal of COD is threatening the false sense of achievement for many geeks and as such online conflict can get very personal.
Games should be fun but for some people, COD is not a game, it’s life. These people give themselves ridiculous monikers like “HellReaper77” or “Gangrapist98” and always get into an argument with another like minded moron over who is the best, really childish and petty arguments, but then again just like two football fans fighting over who’s team is best.
With the release of the latest instalment, Black Ops, things are going to get worse for us. We’ve been promised the biggest game ever, and what we have is sort of the same thing we had last year. 90% of its audience don’t care about the single player campaign but me, I’m part of the 10%, and to be honest it’s pretty disappointing. The gaming industry has never been renowned for its storytelling and Black Ops doesn’t break the trend, it’s just as bad as what we‘re used to. Playing out like a series of 24 set in the Cold War, you play some guy who is being interrogated by some other guy over a set of mysterious numbers. Mysterious numbers, hmm I definitely haven’t seen any TV shows feature a mysterious set of numbers recently. Just as Modern Warfare 2’s story made no sense at all, Black Ops is equally full of massive plot holes and even bigger Michael Bay-esque explosions, or as I like to call them, Baysplosions.
The huge set pieces may look impressive but they come at you relentlessly and actually ruin any tension or sense of danger that a war would inevitably invoke in you. Like the majority of games, it appears as if the writers have just watched a load of action movies and decided to base the story around all of them. Whatever happened to reading books? What ensues is a discordant experience where you are not given any time to follow the confused plot or connect with any of the characters. There is a distinct lack of sensitivity in the game and I can’t help but feel that the subject of war should be treated less abrasively. Every character is full of testosterone and appears to enjoy shooting and stabbing everything in sight. There are a few occasions where the tone changes and the ugly side of war is shown but these moments are too rare and soon forgotten in the mass of explosions.
The multiplayer is what most people came for though and it gives them exactly what they want, to shoot each other. While changes have been made they are all essentially superficial and it’s just the same as last year, much like the annual update of a sports game. The COD disciples won’t care though, Activision could have released Pong and they would have still bought it. Through their rose tinted night vision goggles there’s not much COD fans won’t spend their money on, the £10 map packs of Modern Warfare 2 proving that, even I bought them eventually only to find that everyone else skipped the maps every time they appeared. I never got to play some of the maps and it shows the devotion of many players that they will pay £10 for content they will never use.
Of course as the franchise becomes more popular and more successful why change the formula? Men have something meaningful in their lives now, we’re not going to throw it away. Just like an adolescent teenager discovering masturbation, we are in wonder of COD and we won’t give it up easily, you put them on the shelves and we will buy them. The marketing campaign for Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood looks to exploit this new popularity of virtual murder as Tinie Tempah’s Frisky plays over the advert as if to suggest that killing in the 15th century is “bad boy”. Of course it is but there is no need to be so blunt about it.
The Call of Duty franchise is not just for gamers anymore, it’s become synonymous with Man and is much bigger than a mere computer video game those darn pesky kids are playing. Call of Duty attracts the most casual of gamers who usually reserve their playing time for FIFA (and nothing else) and perhaps it’s the game’s macho subject matter of shooting faces that transcends COD from being geeky and stupid to the most important facet of life. Nothing says “I’m the alpha male” more than “poning a noob”. The supposed realism is what makes COD so engrossing to the masses, where as Halo with its lasers and aliens requires too much suspension of disbelief and is subsequently left for those dreaded malevolent hardcore gamers.
Everyone wants to prove they’re the best and if they can’t do it on the football pitch then they will do it online, annoying the geeks who thought they found their calling in life to no end. For some of the physically inferior, games are all they have, they’re good at them and in their virtual world they are the Mac daddy. The universal appeal of COD is threatening the false sense of achievement for many geeks and as such online conflict can get very personal.
Games should be fun but for some people, COD is not a game, it’s life. These people give themselves ridiculous monikers like “HellReaper77” or “Gangrapist98” and always get into an argument with another like minded moron over who is the best, really childish and petty arguments, but then again just like two football fans fighting over who’s team is best.
With the release of the latest instalment, Black Ops, things are going to get worse for us. We’ve been promised the biggest game ever, and what we have is sort of the same thing we had last year. 90% of its audience don’t care about the single player campaign but me, I’m part of the 10%, and to be honest it’s pretty disappointing. The gaming industry has never been renowned for its storytelling and Black Ops doesn’t break the trend, it’s just as bad as what we‘re used to. Playing out like a series of 24 set in the Cold War, you play some guy who is being interrogated by some other guy over a set of mysterious numbers. Mysterious numbers, hmm I definitely haven’t seen any TV shows feature a mysterious set of numbers recently. Just as Modern Warfare 2’s story made no sense at all, Black Ops is equally full of massive plot holes and even bigger Michael Bay-esque explosions, or as I like to call them, Baysplosions.
The huge set pieces may look impressive but they come at you relentlessly and actually ruin any tension or sense of danger that a war would inevitably invoke in you. Like the majority of games, it appears as if the writers have just watched a load of action movies and decided to base the story around all of them. Whatever happened to reading books? What ensues is a discordant experience where you are not given any time to follow the confused plot or connect with any of the characters. There is a distinct lack of sensitivity in the game and I can’t help but feel that the subject of war should be treated less abrasively. Every character is full of testosterone and appears to enjoy shooting and stabbing everything in sight. There are a few occasions where the tone changes and the ugly side of war is shown but these moments are too rare and soon forgotten in the mass of explosions.
The multiplayer is what most people came for though and it gives them exactly what they want, to shoot each other. While changes have been made they are all essentially superficial and it’s just the same as last year, much like the annual update of a sports game. The COD disciples won’t care though, Activision could have released Pong and they would have still bought it. Through their rose tinted night vision goggles there’s not much COD fans won’t spend their money on, the £10 map packs of Modern Warfare 2 proving that, even I bought them eventually only to find that everyone else skipped the maps every time they appeared. I never got to play some of the maps and it shows the devotion of many players that they will pay £10 for content they will never use.
Of course as the franchise becomes more popular and more successful why change the formula? Men have something meaningful in their lives now, we’re not going to throw it away. Just like an adolescent teenager discovering masturbation, we are in wonder of COD and we won’t give it up easily, you put them on the shelves and we will buy them. The marketing campaign for Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood looks to exploit this new popularity of virtual murder as Tinie Tempah’s Frisky plays over the advert as if to suggest that killing in the 15th century is “bad boy”. Of course it is but there is no need to be so blunt about it.
Wednesday, 21 July 2010
World in Motion
So Microsoft have announced that the much anticipated Kinect will be sold for around 150 bucks. A little exchange rate research later and I guess it will around £100 over here, which in my opinion is £99 too much.
Let’s be honest, we are all bored of the Wii. Waving your arms about like you’re being attacked by a wasp just isn’t fun after four minutes, unless you’re Ant and Dec, which is always fun as long as you’re still getting paid.
With the Wii making so much money, Microsoft and Sony have jumped on the motion cash cow, and before Christmas motion controlled gaming will be available on all three consoles. Despite it’s popularity, the Wii has offered very little to hardcore gamers apart from the odd Zelda and Mario game, so it’s hard to get excited about Kinect and Move because they will only cater for the casual gamer.
The majority of the games announced for Kinect are aimed for children, so rather than an innovative piece of technology, it is more of a sound business plan from Microsoft, aimed at attracting a younger (and older) audience to the console. There is always one bastard developer though with delusions of grandeur, and they make a brilliant game that we must all have…the bastardy bastards. The big game from E3 was Child of Eden, and will be the reason (if any) for the hardcore gamers to buy Kinect, which they will.
The problem I have with the Wii, which I assume I will have with Kinect, is that the few good games available on the Wii would work just as well, if not better, without the motion controlled elements. I’m fine with pushing buttons, it’s less of a hindrance than waving my arms about, and with the Wii you end up pushing buttons anyway. You won’t have any buttons with Kinect, and whether this is a good thing depends on how well it works.
I understand that the whole movement aspect is great because it encourages the often obese gamer to exercise, but I have found a way to sit down and play games, and not get fat, or what I have dubbed, COD fit. All you need is a console, an exercise bike, and the ability to multitask. Or you can just play games and exercise separately.
Even if you don’t want to buy Kinect, Microsoft will manipulate you into buying it eventually. It’ll just be like downloadable content, fucking devious. In the good ol’ days you used to be able to buy a game, and then play it, seem simple enough. Now, you spend £40, and then you are continually sold extra parts of the game for the next year (at least). The latest Fifa game has 2 modes on the menu screen that you need to pay to unlock, didn’t I already pay to play it? Modern Warfare 2 has released 2 map packs so far, each costing around £10 each. You don’t have to buy these, but it makes it incredibly hard to play online without them as you are kicked out of any match that features a map you don’t have. So if you want to keep playing online you have to spend a total of around £60 on one game.
It has been announced that Fable III will use Kinect, but you won’t
need it to play the game. I get the feeling that a lot of games will have totally pointless special Kinect features that you don’t need, but in some way stop us from getting the whole experience of whatever game we’re playing. So it is inevitable that we will all buy Kinect even though we don’t want to, so how about lowering the price a little?
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