1. The cinema hasn’t attracted a mob so middle class since
The King’s Speech. I thought I was waiting in line to see highlights of the
Queen’s Jubilee.
2. Attracting a bourgeois theatre going crowd ensured they all
laughed at the “funny” bits as they would do watching the stage production. Just
because you pay £60 for a ticket and it’s in a fancy theatre doesn’t mean the
shitty jokes and dialogue become high art and hilarious. If you charged £60 for a peasant stoning they'd find that hilarious as well.
3. Helena Bonham Carter has only ever had one look in her
career: The scatty wench pimped by Tim Burton.
4. Wolverine, Maximus Decimus Meridius, and Catwoman all
feature, yet all they do is go on about their feelings through the medium of
song.
5. Speaking of which, Hugh Jackman ages horribly in the film,
what happened to his regeneration abilities?
6. Why do the revolutionaries all look like they’re in Mumford
and Sons?
7. Revolution looks fun!
8. Oh no it doesn’t.
9. I wonder if Chris Klein auditioned for the film.
10. Why do girls love it so much? It’s two and a half hours of
relentless depression. Valjean dying at the end isn’t sad. It’s like the dog
dying at the end of Marley and Me. He’s fucking old. Write some lyrics for
Schindler’s List and they’ll eat that shit up.
11. It was alright though.
